LHG Roundtable: Horror’s of E3’s Past!

Sometime’s they are bad, sometime’s they can be really bad, or the unexpected: a HORROR!

Disclaimer! *The thoughts and opinions from the LosHarrowGames writers do not represent all of LosHarrow. We are in no way mocking the employees, products, or companies. No matter if you have some interest in video games, are new to video games, or a die-hard fan, we are all #GamersUnited. That being said, this may get ugly.

Allan Muir – Managing Editor and Xbox Stalwart

Sony’s E3 2006 Press Conference

There were many bombs throughout E3’s past and some of them have backfired in some cases. Take for example, the Sony Press Conference way back during E3 2006. It was the year of the Wii! What many people like myself expected was Sony to make a tidal shock with the reveal of things like the PlayStation 3, continuing the lifelines of both the PlayStation Portable and the PlayStation 2, and have games announced/shown off by their stellar first party developers that spanned the globe. We didn’t really get that at the presser back in ’06. What we instead got were things like the famous trailer that was supposedly “in engine” for Killzone 2. Was it controversial at the time? Yes. Is it still relevant today? Absolutely not, especially after the NoClip documentary on Guerrilla Games which I’ll add in here. Needless to say Killzone 2 turned out to be a good thing from Sony’s conference.

The video above is an example in a nutshell of mistakes made and the somewhat awkward funk the PlayStation 3 would find itself in during the first year/year and a half of its life cycle. Speaking of that let’s get back to the biggest thing of the Sony E3 2006 Press Conference: The PlayStation 3. We had everything from stat charts to games that were, well, odd? PlanetPSP is one thing I will revisit as I was watching a Polygon re-watch of the Conference as it was close to fifteen years ago and I’m still a hardcore Justin McElroy fan going all the way back to the Joystiq days. *Weeps* I am going to sum up PlanetPSP with one game and that is B-Boy… a game for both the PlayStation 2 and Portable that is about break-dancing and breakdancing only. Quite a shame as I couldn’t spot any cardboard lying on the ground being used as a makeshift mat.

After things focused entirely on the PlayStation 3 which was announced for the holiday of 2006 and would cost about six-hundred dollars here in the US and that was the talk of the gaming world and even to young folk like myself and it would all roll into an edition of The Loop on G4’s Attack of the Show over a year later in which Kevin Pereira, Greg Miller, and Shane Bettenausen from IGN and EGM respectively would talk about the PS3 and the segment was titled “The PlayStation 3 vs Itself”. It was soon after this ironically that things would eventually turn around for Sony’s successor to the Golden Goose, that being the PlayStation 2.

Josh Miller – Staff Writer

Activision 2007 – The Jamie Kennedy Experiment

At E3 2007, Activision spared no expense when they went to Hollywood seeking only the best to host their panel. Of course, there was no other option than the star of films like Malibu’s Most Wanted, Kickin’ It Old Skool and Son of the Mask: Jamie Kennedy.

While there were definitely games worthy of making a conference such as Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare, Spider-Man: Friend or Foe, and Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock; Jamie Kennedy is the lasting impression from that conference. Jokes were forgotten, jokes bombed, worthless talking over gameplay and an overall disinterested demeanor made the whole conference incredibly cringeworthy. Some suspected he was high. Some assumed he was drunk. Based on how it went down, I wouldn’t be shocked if he was both.

I’m not against the idea of insult humor either, but it’s also key to know the audience. People at E3 aren’t going to necessarily laugh at being called ugly virgins. Props to being unoriginal I guess? It never got better either when jokes fell flat to the point where he barely finishes them or immediately moves on and when he hears a laugh, believes it’s because of the joke and not because of how sad the whole thing ultimately is.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having comedians host your conference. Even when viewers audibly groaned during Aisha Tyler’s “girl wood” comment during the Ubisoft E3 of 2012, she still had enough confidence and a presence to make the conference work and even resulted in her returning to host. But this? This was sad on every level.

It’s hard not to feel bad for the people on stage during that conference. A few made jokes at Kennedy’s expense (with louder laughs than anything he did), but nothing could save that trainwreck of a show. In fact being in a trainwreck may have been a preferred experience.

Graydon Webb – Staff Writer

Ubisoft 2011 – Mr. Caffeine

Admit it, you saw this one coming. I mean, he’s right up there in the header! He’s probably cemented in your brain, as well. For most gamers, Mr. Caffeine is one the most unforgettable and unfortunate moments in our history. Thank god this guy kept to the E3 press conference and they didn’t use his “pitchman” skills on late night shows or something, because if we let him into the wild… imagine the damage that could be done.

For the few of you who are new to this whole E3 thing, however, allow me to provide some backstory. In 2011, Ubisoft’s press conference was pretty dang sweet! Classic games like Far Cry 3, Ghost Recon: Future Soldier, and Assassin’s Creed: Revelations were showcased, and my 14-year-old hopes and dreams were momentarily held aloft as Gearbox revealed Brothers in Arms: Furious 4 (before cancelling it four years later).

The show even opened with the reveal of Rayman Origins, and aside from some punny/unfunny Shakespeare references – “Ubi, or not Ubi?” – everything was going smooth. That’s when Aaron Priceman showed up, calling himself Mr. Caffeine and claiming that he was the man tasked with spreading Ubisoft’s awesomeness with the world.

The man was humorless from the very beginning, and even compared to Aisha Tyler’s occasional misstep in the years to come, he failed harder by providing no charisma as a host and failing to spark any added excitement amongst the crowd. Barely anyone laughs or claps at the man, and at certain points he quite literally heckles the audience for not playing along.

After revisiting this conference eight years later, I have to say I was not only surprised by how many times he returned to the stage, but also by the blatantly sexist remarks he makes at the expense of a few cheap video game jokes. I’m not usually one to point out misogyny in conversation, but in today’s society, I doubt Mr. Caffeine would be invited back to E3. Now that I mention it, perhaps that’s not a bad thing at all.